Friday, May 18, 2012

Of Bananas and Apples...


(Warning: If you're thinking that this might be a food related blog - it's not. I'm being metaphorical and this is addressed at those who have a "broader perspective" to things!)

 There are some people who have the uncanny knack to freak their fellow denizens beyond plausible limits. In my defense, I do tend to freak people out with my lethargy, lack of interest, poker face, and sudden burst of energy to contradict all of the previous actions - however, these are not terminal freakulosis characteristics
and I'm sure many will agree to it. That being said, I have been an innocent bystander to many seemingly innocuous incidents that have freaked my short hairs (around my neck :P) off of my body. Mind you, these may pass off as some rather innocent acts under normal circumstances, and I hold my overtly active and visual imagination to read between the lines...

 1. A while ago I was walking down the corridor, heading towards my work floor when I saw two "happy" adult males holding hands and swinging them in sync as they walked. I'm sure they must have looked cute and one of them, or someone seeing them, would be reminded of some such walk with their loved ones and get ready to write a blog about it. Anywho, I never paid much attention until the junction that led to their work floor and the other side to the rest rooms, the guys turned in opposite directions. Noticing the sudden tug at the hands (or hearts?) one guy told the other in very freakily (atleast I felt so) happy tone, "Hey, we have another 8 minutes for the break to get over. Wanna go to the loo and then head in?". I got goose bumps. The looks, the smiles, the air over there. It was so OMG!

 2. A few days ago I happened to go be at the medical shop to buy my medication for my ailment. The dispensary happened to be having a good day and there was a small crowd milling around the counter asking for medicines. (and I thought only the state owned alcohol shops had this kinda crowd.) In the midst of this, one man enters and looks around nervously trying to catch the eye of the chemist. He inches up to the counter and bends his head down and mutters something. Being a distance away, I didn't hear what he asked for, but I swear the entire shop that was buzzing became so quiet that I thought my ears had popped. The crowd parted and distanced from the guy like he had suddenly contracted some contagious disease! I had a feeling it was one of two things that the guy had asked for: condoms or sanitary pads - my bet was on the condoms. I won.

 3. I was shopping for fruits one day and had just bought a bunch of bananas and a coupla apples. As I was walking thru the stalls, my phone sang in all its glory and I had to answer it. Trying to straddle a helmet, my phone, the fruits, while at the same time fumbling thru my pockets to get my key out, I placed the polythene bag with the fruits between my legs while I dug into my pocket. I dunno if the kid (must've been about 4-5) was being smart-assed, but suddenly he burst out laughing. When mommy asked why, the kid said, "that uncle has bananas and apples between his legs!" and trilled with glee. The mother blanched. I couldn't move. And other people who heard the joke, smiled - enjoying it, embarassed or pitifully, I don't know!

 4. Chemists have a tendency to embarass people - knowingly or unknowingly. I once went in to pick up a strip of Gelusils. The chemist nonchalantly asked me in his tamil tinted english, "gas ah?". No, I didn't find candy so am improvising.

 5. Any motorist will know that the Bullets are famous for oil drippage and thus maintenance is a big deal. I happened to be waiting at a signal and had one guy next to me, look me up and down and settle at my feet. Finally, unable to control his urge, he states, "It's leaking". My first reaction was WTF, and I looked down at myself reddening and already embarassed. Confused, I looked up at him and he was like, "Saar, oil leakage saar - take it to mechanic soon. Not good for the vehicle." If the lights hadn't turned green, I would have abused him to the depths of hell and back.

These are just a few things that came of the top of my mind. I reckon there could be more.. but I'll save that for later!

Cheers,
Aamen.



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