In the years that I have been driving/riding in this awesome city that is Chennai, I have come to notice quite a few things about motorists and their machines. It goes without saying that the motorists of this city like to drive on the edge of their seats and enjoy seeing the harrowed faces of the others who are left rubbing the dust from their eyes, or screwing up their faces in disgust from the smell of burnt rubber. Maneuvering through the traffic
congested streets in itself, draws on an amazing reserve of courage, stamina, and mental readiness. Not to mention that your insurance papers need to be up to date and set for maximizing the returns from even the smallest of damages. But, damages and insurance are for mortals. Here we are gonna talk about the demi-gods of the streets, the speed demons, and the Valkyries (read as "Holy Trio" from here on!) who ride amongst us as normal people but with abnormal skill and control and utmost disregard for traffic rules and road ethics, and other motorists!
The vehicles the Holy Trio drive range from the usual Pulsars/R-15's and RX-100's to the Scootys and Activas and even the highly dangerous, TVS 50. Anything goes on these streets! What differentiates these riders from the rest? Read on!
Primarily, they pay no attention to the street. They create their own path and bulldoze their way thru literally anything. But, that you all must be aware of already, so let me move to the finer things.
They have no idea or rather pretend not to know what half the accessories provided in the vehicle actually are for. Take for example, the "side view mirror". In a car, if it has one, it is taken care of very nicely; It's folded in and never opened out. Some even go so far as to leave the protective packaging on even 2/3 months after buying the car. Who would want to spoil them in the rain/dust? It's a new car, for crying out loud! On a bike, it has people prepared for next generation communication - video call. The mirrors are placed at such an angle that the rider can see his pillion's face at any given time of the ride. Talk about a face-to-face chat!
Item no. 2, the most unnoticed and barely used component of the vehicle. The side indicators. Many people are not aware that there is such a component on the vehicle. Those who are aware, have them wired such that both the left and right indicators blip while the car is accelerating! Imagine Santa or Banta on a scooter behind a car like that! I'd hate to imagine the scene. A majority of the motorists depend upon hand signals and in this day and age, and responsible motorists are rewarded with a resounding whack from the rider in front of them! Curious, I asked the lady why she puts her hand out while turning the car and she gave me a weird look and asked me in turn "Is the A.C. on??" and drove away.
Item no. 3, the immortal horn. The horn is like an expression of emotion for the driver. If he's happy, he'll honk rather robustly. If he's sad, a weak and almost negligible output. And if he's upset/mad/angry/furious or any of the emotions from that room, he'll blare away like he was holding on to the machine gun on one of those arcade games where you handle a tilt rotor gun-ship. And if the horns are by Bosch or Mocc, rest assured, motorists in front and behind will be hard of hearing for the next 2-3 minutes. There are some others who are musically talented and put the horn to good use by honking to the tune of the song playing on the music system, almost like their honking is the only thing that will keep the song on the hot-list and someday earn them a name in the end credits! Then, there are others who, out of sheer habit, press the horn every 30 seconds whether there's traffic or not.
A lot many motorists are of the opinion that the automobile companies should stop adding these unnecessary components and make the vehicles cheaper to the buyer. With the Nano rolling out, all that's left to see is how that car is put to the test and wrung out by our Holy Trio!
But that's not gonna stop namma Chennai Quick Guns and Sons of Guns from showing restraint. The word doesn't even occur in their dictionaries.
On a closing note, I would like to share one very memorable experience that shows the spirit of the Chennai motorist. It was New Year's eve, with just 2 minutes to go before ushering in the new year. A couple of friends and I were riding to Elliots Beach and trust me, the traffic was unimaginable. However, the return lane was comparatively devoid of any rush or jam. That's when we saw him. Rather, heard him. There was this dude, who was piss drunk and riding a 2-stroke bike of unknown make and waving out to us and screaming out "Haaapppyy Nnyyuuu Yaaaar". Whump. He jumped a speed breaker and his bike and him were separated in mid-air and flung away. Many of us dismounted our steeds and were about to cross over, when the dude, sits upright and starts laughing loudly and shouting "No Prrroblem" "Itsokai" "Haapppyy Nyyuu Yaar" and runs around in a circle, thrice, before realizing that his bike was one circle away. And then he picks it up and rides away like the ghostrider with a maniacal laugh.
And that ladies and gentlemen, is the indomitable spirit of the Chennai motor enthusiast!
- Aaditya Menon
congested streets in itself, draws on an amazing reserve of courage, stamina, and mental readiness. Not to mention that your insurance papers need to be up to date and set for maximizing the returns from even the smallest of damages. But, damages and insurance are for mortals. Here we are gonna talk about the demi-gods of the streets, the speed demons, and the Valkyries (read as "Holy Trio" from here on!) who ride amongst us as normal people but with abnormal skill and control and utmost disregard for traffic rules and road ethics, and other motorists!
The vehicles the Holy Trio drive range from the usual Pulsars/R-15's and RX-100's to the Scootys and Activas and even the highly dangerous, TVS 50. Anything goes on these streets! What differentiates these riders from the rest? Read on!
Primarily, they pay no attention to the street. They create their own path and bulldoze their way thru literally anything. But, that you all must be aware of already, so let me move to the finer things.
They have no idea or rather pretend not to know what half the accessories provided in the vehicle actually are for. Take for example, the "side view mirror". In a car, if it has one, it is taken care of very nicely; It's folded in and never opened out. Some even go so far as to leave the protective packaging on even 2/3 months after buying the car. Who would want to spoil them in the rain/dust? It's a new car, for crying out loud! On a bike, it has people prepared for next generation communication - video call. The mirrors are placed at such an angle that the rider can see his pillion's face at any given time of the ride. Talk about a face-to-face chat!
Item no. 2, the most unnoticed and barely used component of the vehicle. The side indicators. Many people are not aware that there is such a component on the vehicle. Those who are aware, have them wired such that both the left and right indicators blip while the car is accelerating! Imagine Santa or Banta on a scooter behind a car like that! I'd hate to imagine the scene. A majority of the motorists depend upon hand signals and in this day and age, and responsible motorists are rewarded with a resounding whack from the rider in front of them! Curious, I asked the lady why she puts her hand out while turning the car and she gave me a weird look and asked me in turn "Is the A.C. on??" and drove away.
Item no. 3, the immortal horn. The horn is like an expression of emotion for the driver. If he's happy, he'll honk rather robustly. If he's sad, a weak and almost negligible output. And if he's upset/mad/angry/furious or any of the emotions from that room, he'll blare away like he was holding on to the machine gun on one of those arcade games where you handle a tilt rotor gun-ship. And if the horns are by Bosch or Mocc, rest assured, motorists in front and behind will be hard of hearing for the next 2-3 minutes. There are some others who are musically talented and put the horn to good use by honking to the tune of the song playing on the music system, almost like their honking is the only thing that will keep the song on the hot-list and someday earn them a name in the end credits! Then, there are others who, out of sheer habit, press the horn every 30 seconds whether there's traffic or not.
A lot many motorists are of the opinion that the automobile companies should stop adding these unnecessary components and make the vehicles cheaper to the buyer. With the Nano rolling out, all that's left to see is how that car is put to the test and wrung out by our Holy Trio!
But that's not gonna stop namma Chennai Quick Guns and Sons of Guns from showing restraint. The word doesn't even occur in their dictionaries.
On a closing note, I would like to share one very memorable experience that shows the spirit of the Chennai motorist. It was New Year's eve, with just 2 minutes to go before ushering in the new year. A couple of friends and I were riding to Elliots Beach and trust me, the traffic was unimaginable. However, the return lane was comparatively devoid of any rush or jam. That's when we saw him. Rather, heard him. There was this dude, who was piss drunk and riding a 2-stroke bike of unknown make and waving out to us and screaming out "Haaapppyy Nnyyuuu Yaaaar". Whump. He jumped a speed breaker and his bike and him were separated in mid-air and flung away. Many of us dismounted our steeds and were about to cross over, when the dude, sits upright and starts laughing loudly and shouting "No Prrroblem" "Itsokai" "Haapppyy Nyyuu Yaar" and runs around in a circle, thrice, before realizing that his bike was one circle away. And then he picks it up and rides away like the ghostrider with a maniacal laugh.
And that ladies and gentlemen, is the indomitable spirit of the Chennai motor enthusiast!
- Aaditya Menon
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